In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Land of Confusion.”
Oh, school. I didn’t really have trouble mastering the material in school or college/university. I’ve made the Dean’s List or Academic Honour Roll all through my career as a student. Always at the top of my class (besides my last year of high school when I sat out/missed as much class as I attended) . However, I spent incredible amounts of time feeling like I had no idea what I was doing. I was convinced I was going to fail classes. I had downright panic attacks if I had to give oral presentations in high school. When I started college I remember going to my counsellor at student’s services panicking that I didn’t know anything. I was a nursing student and I was convinced that could not do the science involved (organic chemistry and human anatomy). He brought me across the hallway to the learning centre, pulled out a science book, and started asking me questions. I answered them. By the next semester I had a paid position at the learning centre teaching those very subjects to new students. Yes, I worried a lot for now reason.
I’m starting university again after a very long break and I am already panicking about the classes that I haven’t even selected, yet. There is every possibility that I will master these classes as well, but I am expecting to spend a fair bit of the next two year apprehensive.
What I’d really like to learn this time around is how to believe in myself.