When Someone Tells me I Shouldn’t Do Something

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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Snapshot Stories.”

I sometimes turn around and do just that.

When my daughter was born I had a massive hemorrhage. The midwife went over everything that happened and my case with a couple of her doula colleagues and the suggestion that she brought to me a few days later was that I should very, very strongly consider not having any more children and certainly not attempting to have another homebirth. This was a midwife that I loved very much and she’d treated me with such dignity as she cared for me after my daughter’s birth, but it was hard for me to hear that she somehow felt that my body was defective or a medical mystery. I did, however, take her advice to heart, at least until I found out I was pregnant four years later. At that point there was no one that was going to tell me that I couldn’t birth my baby however I wanted. I fought, and I fought hard, to find a midwife that would actually attend my birth. I travelled hours and hours away from how and when the midwife I’d chosen backed down, I joined up with another midwife who helped me get whatever I wanted. She told me ever little loophole that we could sneak through to get my homebirth and that’s exactly what we did.

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In this picture my midwife is removing the saline lock that I’d allowed her to place before the birth (it was the one medical thing that I was okay with). After the birth I did start to bleed and the midwife ran over to hook up the IV, but it just would not run. My midwife looked at me and said, “I held up my end of the bargain and now you need to hold up yours. You are not going to bleed.” We looked at each other and we knew at that point that I wasn’t going to bleed. The bleeding slowed immediately with no intervention and within 30 minutes I was up nursing my third, and final baby. No need for medications, interventions, or panicked. The birth itself was incredibly intense, but for the first time I got my gentle third stage and my body did exactly what it was made to do.

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Friday’s Fave Five ~ June 5th, 2015

Screen Shot 2014-04-04 at 12.22.48 PMI am little late writing this post, but it is still Friday so here I am to share a few nice moments from my last week. If you would like to do the same be sure to visit Susanne over at Living to Tell the Story. Here we go with mine.

1. Getting time to go to the grocery store with just my youngest child. It was fun to just walk down all the aisle and look as long as we wanted. We only spent 25 dollars, but we enjoyed choosing the things that we really wanted. Usually we go to Costco and it is chaos. A regular grocery store is fun every once and a while.

2. Finishing my colouring page. I did worry a bit about what colours were going to go where. I was even going to quit after a choose a set of colours that I really didn’t like for a section. I hated the look of it, but I kept going and I think it turned out nicely in the end anyways.

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 11.08.14 PM3. Hanging out with the kids in the tent. It was fun to laze around for one afternoon colouring while the kids played. We managed to get some school work done, too. We have not been able to sleep out there because there are a ton of mosquitoes in this area and the little one hated that we couldn’t quite catch every single one in the tent. I’m hoping that the girlie and I might get a chance to on a night when my partner is home, but the little one is used to having me near him all night so I don’t know if it will work or not. I do know that I love to sleep outside. We’ll see, I guess.

4. Walking this crazy dog. She actually went on her first on the road (we live along a highway) today. I’ve been working with training her for the last few weeks (never get a puppy just before winter sets in….makes teaching loose leash walking a bother). She isn’t perfect, but she is infinitely better than our other dog (that I doubt I’ll ever be able to really walk). I’m looking forward to getting her walking very well by the end of the summer. I feel safe talking her along the highway as she wasn’t anxious so that is good (don’t worry, it is a very quiet highway….our older dog has anxiety so if a car did happen to pass she’d freak out and try to pull me into the ditch). I think we’ll get the hang of it.

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5. Shipping notices. My first course will be arriving in the mail some time next week. It should give me a couple weeks to get started on the text books before I get assigned my teacher and the class opens. I was shocked at how fast they got everything organized once I organized myself to start. I’m still working on getting the loans straightened out, but I am hoping that will go well and I’ll be all set for full time in the fall. I know I’ll be checking out the tracking number until my package arrives anyways!

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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Happily Ever After.”

Am I living happily ever after? Are you?

Life is not a fairly tale. That is the stuff of childhood (if you are lucky). The real world is a bit different I would say. I don’t know that there are many people that could say that they are living happily ever after – at least not it that fairy tale way.

People do seem to be able to live happy, or happy enough, at least.

Do I?

At this point, probably not. I care too much about what everyone else things. I let what they do get to me. I let everything negative that happens be a reflection of something I’ve done. Where there is goodness, it has nothing to do with me. I am working slowly to change those views, but they’ve been with me for a long time.

I hope one day just to find my happy enough.

I Wouldn’t Do Anything

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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Blogger With a┬áCause.”

If your day to day responsibilities were taken care of and you could throw yourself completely behind a cause, what would it be?

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t do anything. I’m such a whimp. Any causes I’ve felt passionate about I’ve kept secret. All the things I would do, no one knows about. I’ve gotten my foot wet a time or two, but nothing more than that. So for now, I let other people speak out while I sit quietly by the sidelines.