You Never Forget

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Forgive and Forget?.”

It happens that I have survived a number of unfair, cruel, and sometimes criminal acts. Forgiving and forgetting is utter nonsense. You don’t forget. You aren’t the same person you once were. As far as forgiveness goes, if that floats your boat then go for it. I have forgiven myself and I have forgiven those around me, but I will not forgive the perpetrator. I do have compassion and understanding, but not forgiveness. I’ve been changed. That isn’t easy to forget.

I guess all that being said, I wouldn’t be who I am without these events, and that isn’t bad. I’ve gained compassion. I’ve worked with a number of wonderful women. I’ve healed. It’s opened doors for me, but there’s still pain and there will always been pain, but I’ve accepted that this pain is a part of my life. There are still areas that need work as I often allow situations to progress beyond my comfort level as I don’t feel like I have a voice. I didn’t then, and it is hard to make that voice heard now. This is why I cannot forgive. The work does not stop because I have accepted what has happened. I’m not allowed to forget…..however, there are times where this feels like an excuse, so I keep pushing ahead and keep going.

When all is dark around me, forgiving and forgetting sounds good, but that’s not the way that life works.

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